This Christmas - do less and rest!

 


 “Real rest feels like every cell is thanking you for taking care of you. It’s calm, not full of checklists and chores. It’s simple: not multitasking; not fixing broken things.” 

— Jennifer Williamson

I love Christmas, but I get stressed out when I have too many social things to do around it. For me the best part of Christmas is the time when the tree is up - the smell of pine, and my husband and I cuddled up on the couch watching sweet Christmas movies. Time off work, time to relax on the deck with friends and family, the quietness of the week between Christmas and New Years. Time to rest and recharge.

What I don't like is feeling pressured to buy gifts, cook for lots of people, or run around too much on the day itself. I don't like the drive to finish all the work, visit all the people, and do all the traditional things. I'm also not a fan of how much of the pressure to have the perfect time is applied almost exclusively to one person in the family - usually a woman. 

Father Christmas / Santa gets a lot of good press for delivering the gifts but you can guarantee in most families it's a woman who has done the gift list, shopping, wrapping - probably for family, friends, neighbours, the school, and her partner's family too. It's also most likely her who planned the meals, shopped for them, did the majority of the prep and will do most of the cleanup but has to sit and smile silently as someone else soaks up all the kudos for barbequeing a few sausages or carving a roast. 

When I was looking for quotes for this blog I noticed the focus on giving, and yes I get it, the spirit of the season and all that - but it struck me that this sense of giving centres a lot around wives and Mums running themselves ragged to give of their time and sanity so others have nice memories. That seems really convenient for the beneficiaries of all that giving.

I want us to concentrate on giving our friends and family the gift of a relaxed and happy us - surely that's what they want, right? I'd much rather have a simple meal with a calm person than a banquet with a frazzled one. Sometimes the old traditions place too much on one person and can be replaced with new ones that honour everyone's right to rest and recharge over the holidays. Or ignore the season entirely - it's up to you.

Think about the things that are meaningful to you and your nearest and dearest, divvy up those tasks amongst everyone who will benefit from them, and then DON'T REMIND ANYONE to do them. If they forget, or choose not to do them then don't step in and do it for them. It's not on you, it's on them. People won't change if you never give them the opportunity. If your people decide they don't want to do the work to make the magic happen then that's ok, you choose the one or two things that make the season special for you and focus on them and on sharing that feeling with the people who appreciate those things too. 

It will feel weird, and you may get some push-back, but if we don't fight for our own space to rest and enjoy ourselves we'll forever be run-down and resentful. Here's a guided meditation I made on this topic a couple of years ago: https://insighttimer.com/lindaholman/guided-meditations/relaxation-christmas-chill

  



 


 

 



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