Linda Holman

It's been a wee while since my last post - I wanted to take this year to really relax and recover, and try and figure out what my "new normal" looks like. I'd love to say it's been a year of ease and endless happiness but that'd be a lie. It hasn't been a bad year - but there have been a number of challenges I really wasn't prepared for. I don't think you can ever be truly prepared for cancer and its aftermath, you just have to roll with it and hope it doesn't run you over. Yay for drugs! I started the year moving into the (hopefully) final stage of treatment, hormone drugs. As my tumour was oestrogen recepter positive I am able to take drugs to block the production or uptake of oestrogen - which is a growth hormone that "feeds" the tumour. Taking these pills for the next 5-10 years helps to stop the cancer coming back. There are two types - aromatase inhibitors or Tamoxifen . Generally post-menopausal women (which I am now, tha...

 “Surgeons must be very careful When they take the knife! Underneath their fine incisions Stirs the Culprit— Life! ”      ~ Emily Dickinson Kia ora whānau, thank you for visiting. This episode is about my recent surgery: a single mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. The intention is to explain it as clearly as I can so people having a similar procedure (or who are supporting someone who is) can have another resource to call upon. Please note this is being carried out in New Zealand, and different countries may have different types of surgeries that use similar terminology. I have already had a lumpectomy with lymph node removal , so didn't need further lymph node removal. I opted for an immediate reconstruction as the public waiting list is so long for delayed reconstruction that I'll never actually make it to the top of the list. I had initially thought I wanted to see how I went with a straight mastectomy and possibly a delayed recon, but now I'm glad t...

Welcome! In this episode I'll go over my experience of receiving chemotherapy for breast cancer treatment. Chemotherapy differs from other treatments in that it is highly personal - while there are similarities in the drugs taken, each treatment is calibrated to the individual patient, and everybody responds differently to the drugs. So I'll focus less on my reactions to the treatment and more on outlining some general steps to inform you as you travel this path as a patient or supporter. Note: I live in New Zealand, and treatments differ from region to region, as well as being different in different countries. Your medical team are the ones to ask about your treatment plan, not randoms on the internet like me! 🙂 How did I decide to have chemotherapy? In my case I wasn't a clear yes for chemotherapy's benefits outweighing the risks, so I opted to pay for Oncotype DX testing , to know for sure if chemotherapy would be helpful to me. (Currently this isn't publicl...

 "On days you can't stand to look at your own reflection, remember all of the things your body has allowed you to do and all the places it has taken you to. It may be scarred, it may be tired, it may be old... but you are so lucky to be in it."      ~Ruby Jones Kia ora whānau. I'm writing February's episode in early March but I won't tell if you don't. During February I was wondering why I enjoy writing this blog so much and I decided it came down to these elements: Attention and praise - I love it, keep it coming :) I can send people the link so they can read my story rather than me having to tell it over and over It allows me to take the role of the observer Taking the role of the observer is an idea I've come across in various yoga and meditation classes over the years. I understand it to mean taking a step back, out of the whirligig of my feelings and thoughts and being able to think "I see there is fear there" rather than "I...

 "Duck love is recognizable in any language."      ~Edmond Manning A therapy duck In late January our neighbour's grandkids found a tiny mallard duckling on the highway, with no sign of its family around. They are kind-hearted folk so brought the fuzzy scrap of life home with them and set her up in their spare bedroom. Of an evening "Boots" the duckling would sit on my neighbour's shoulder and preen him enthusiastically. Hearts were melted and bonds were formed Tiny Boots the first day I met her I met Boots and instantly fell in love, and tried to spend at least a couple of hours every day with her. The feeling was mutual, and my heart officially melted when she squeezed herself under the spare bedroom door to chase me down the hallway. Ducklings are normally always with their family and we became her family - and parting was such sweet panic. The timing of Boots' arrival was such that I happened to have at least a couple of hours each day to spe...

Kia ora tatou, nau mai, harae mai. Two weeks after the lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy I had a call from the surgeon to say that while there was no evidence that the cancer had spread (yay!) there was still some pre-cancerous cells left behind (boo!). This meant I needed to go back for a re-excision to remove all the DCIS cells. Due to the cancer being Grade 3, which is a fast-growing type, this needed to be done as soon as possible. The surgeon asked how full my calendar was. "I'm currently in a caravan, babysitting a duckling" I replied. "So my schedule is pretty wide open these days"... confused silence... "how is Wednesday?"... "Wednesday is good" :) Although it was a blow to have to go back in for more surgery, my overwhelming feeling is gratitude that I spotted it early and that it's being dealt with quickly. Not everyone lives in a country with free healthcare, and not everyone in this country is able to access the same qual...

 Kia ora tatou, nau mai, harae mai. Today I'm writing about my recent lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy. To recap, in late 2020 I noticed a slight puckering in my breast and was given a breast cancer diagnosis in December 2020, and scheduled for surgery in mid-January 2021. As I talk about in this post this all happened at the same time as I was having major abdominal surgery, so it's certainly been a lot to deal with all at once. And so, four weeks after my hysterectomy I found myself back in hospital for the lumpectomy. This procedure happened in the city so we had booked two nights in an Airbnb in Lyall Bay as the traffic is often nightmarish in the mornings. It was a great call, and coincided with beautiful weather so we had a lovely beach walk after dinner. However, while we were enjoying our Airbnb the hospital had a fire and the subsequent water damage caused no end of issues with the lifts, alarms, and general anxiety levels on the day of the operation. We had been i...